Ilsy's Tears: Archive

Life in all its beauty, glory, and wonder is summed up in three words “People. Always. Leave.” Nothing more and nothing less.

Nov 21st

Would you throw it all away? Unconditional love is such a fickle thing.

Nov 6th

It’s your eyes. They always get me… when will this stop. I just want it to end; I don’t remember what it is like to be without pain.

Nov 5th

My oh my how things have changed since that last post. I guess I didn’t tell you guys (all three of you)… I found him. As with every relationship, it was absolutely magical that first month. Then it all came crashing down. It was no one’s fault but my own. There are, however, three people I blame. My mom My dad My best friend Winning combination, isn’t it? So the...

Oct 16th

Sep 4th

477 notes

Sep 4th

1,908 notes

Aug 22nd

216 notes

Aug 4th

607 notes

Aug 4th

65 notes

You know what? You’re my lobster.

Aug 4th

Jul 6th

222 notes

What do you do… when even your own mind cannot comprehend your feelings?

Jun 28th

Well I can’t complain. Life is decent at the moment. But it can never be simple, you know me too well. Why can’t people just realize when something is good and leave it as it is? They always want more… Ilsy

Jun 8th

The people who made me this way… they won’t know. But I really want to trust you. I wish I could. I wish I could believe you when you say I’m beautiful. But we all know that won’t happen. Ilsy

May 26th

May 13th

10,405 notes

I want a smoke so effing bad right now.

May 10th

I feel horrible. I think something’s wrong today. I can’t think. Ilsy

May 10th

I tire of this… Am I so horribly irregular that I cannot even feel for someone that has specifically and repeatedly told me how amazing I am? Quite strange. It will be interesting to see how this works… Ilsy

May 9th

Honestly? I hate that others can speak my thoughts better than myself. That I best describe myself through lyrics. Who do they think they are, to know me so well?

May 3rd

May 2nd

653 notes

I don’t see why everyone must act like this. Must learn to disconnect myself better. Didn’t think I would have to from you, being one of my best friends and all.

Apr 29th

Wow. Thank you guys, so much for all the support. You know, for never letting me forget how much of a failure I am. Like I ever could anyways? And you two, trying to plot. Like it would ever work. Was I always there for you, through the rough patches and your loser boyfriends? Did I tolerate them? Did I help you through it? Yep. So please, if you would, I’d appreciate it if you’d...

Apr 23rd

I see nothing anymore. Two feet in front of my face/// I’m surrounded by fog It’s not fair. I want to see. Clear me Save my sight Let me in Help me out of this hole I’ve been digging Get me out of this town Give me my life —Ilsy

Apr 23rd

1 tag

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Whatever you want to know… ask http://formspring.me/whyilsy

Apr 23rd

So I had some thinking time today. I realized I have never been more confused in my life.

Apr 21st

Oh please. Just let me out. I wanted into this feeling so bad. Now I want out. It’s amazing, but it’s worse than heroine or cocaine or meth. Worseworseworse. It makes you dependant. That person’s not feelin’ it as much as you? You’re sick to yourself. Sick. What’s wrong with me, why can’t I just have normally proportioned feelings? Why do my depressive...

Apr 16th

I hate you. Can’t do anything about it. It’s situations like this that… Ilsy.

Apr 13th

Why am I like this? A simple question. An answer would be lovely.

Apr 12th

10,766 notes

But I’m trying not to.

Apr 12th

I hate that I could finish that last lyric truthfully.

Apr 12th

You’re awful

Apr 12th

Narcissistic and mean

Apr 12th

Like a salt sore soaked in the sea

Apr 12th

2,406 notes

Sometimes I wonder. But then I say to myself: “My dear, you think too much.”

Apr 10th

Ahh. I don’t need this. You don’t want me? I know. I don’t want me either. I just wish you would say, so I could know. I am so fucking tired of all this. Guessing. Thinking. I want to take a nap from life. I want to mope all by myself. No guessing, no thinking. Knowing that it’s me in there, no one else will come and disturb the puddle of sorrow I’ve learned to be...

Apr 8th

Sigh… I tire of all this.

Apr 8th

So… I believe I was pleasantly wrong. Thank You… Ilsy

Apr 5th

“All hail monogamy, the finest liner on the sea! and there’s still room on...”

– Thomas Newcomb

Apr 3rd

I wish you would just tell me. Stop avoiding the subject. How am I supposed to trust someone after this? Love is such a tenuous feeling, I hate it. Love makes you dependant on someone. Or me anyways. Me. I’ve always hated me. Ilsy

Apr 3rd

What is wrong with me? I feel… out.

Apr 2nd

What do I do. Idon’tknowIdon’tknow… am I being completely irrational, like always? You know, this is why I don’t do relationships, or whatever this is… Lord I pray to you with all of my heart, please protect me from this pain. In whatever way necessary. You know I love him. If this is ending, please help me get through it. I beg… Ilsy

Apr 2nd

I’m sorry I am so fucking annoying. I pity you, having to talk to me. I seem to have lost my words. Losing myself. I can’t get out. I want out of all of this. I hate it when the love is unequal. Always the way it goes. Is there something wrong with me, or something wrong humanity? Anyways, I know this will come to an end soon. It was nice to feel loved for a little while, even if I...

Mar 31st

I fail at writing in this when I’m happy… I suppose it’s not really for happy things. The title, you know. Ilsy

Mar 23rd

It’s inexplicable!

Mar 19th

The first part is easy. One feels happy all the time, nothing can go wrong. That’s where I start to lose myself. Is it just me? I am so pathetic. I had it all wrong… I hate this feeling of need. But it’s so bittersweet. Ilsy

Mar 17th

I never feel completely whole… except when I am here. Ilsy

Mar 12th

Isn’t it strange that there’s life in this universe? Infinite space… and the thing that happened to come from that is life. Something to think about. Ilsy

Mar 9th

I miss.

Mar 5th